Evolution of My Creativity after an NDE

Posted by Nancy Rynes (http://NancyRynesStudio.com) (revised September 2019)

Everyone changes over time. We all understand that, but for many people the changes over time aren't obvious. Well, except for the outward changes that we all notice as we get older: wrinkles, gray hair, and reading glasses. What I'm talking about are the changes that a person goes through on the inside: maturation, personal outlook on life, and personality. Most of those internal changes are invisible to all but our closest friends.

But for folks who create tangible products (books, sculptures, pottery, music, paintings, etc.), some of that inner, personal evolution makes its way into our creations. We simply can't avoid it -- our thoughts and feelings will always be integral to the act of creation itself. 

On social media, someone asked me about my artistic abilities and whether they are recent (after my NDE) or if I was always this way. I'd like to share a little bit about my own personal, artistic evolution with you.

I've been drawing since I was very young, perhaps as early as 5 years old. My dad would bring home those paperback "how to draw" for himself but somehow they always ended up in my possession. Dad wanted to learn how to draw and paint, but as a busy electrician, he had little time to devote to taking classes. Instead, he bought books. And then I co-opted the books from him. He thought it was fun that I would try to draw the animals in those paperbacks: horses mostly, but also deer, fox, dogs, chickens, teddy bears, cartoon animals, or whatever the author felt like teaching. Some of you may know the types of books I'm talking about...showing you how to create a donkey from sketching loose shapes that looked like beans and tree trunks.

While drawing those weird collections of shapes and evolving it into a bear or goose isn't how I draw today, it was a good start for a 10 year old kid. I took what I learned from those books and drew whatever I saw on the farm, on the television, or in magazines. But it's always been animals first. I've been animal-crazy my whole life so it's no surprise they were my first subject matter. 

I began to learn "real" painting when I was 17 by taking classes at a local community college. The instructors encouraged me to go to art school and since Chicago was close, I went to the American Academy of Art. It was more structured and rigorous and although I wasn't a fan of their methods (drawing from still life and casts ad nauseum before getting into "real" art), I can't fault their results. They taught skills from the ground up. What I mean by that is that the students learned to draw well, and in many different subject matter, before we could progress to painting. The reason for this is simple: just like a budding pianist needs to master scales and simple melody before progressing to more challenging arrangements, so too does the artist need to learn the basics of her craft. Some of those basics are composition, tonality, drawing, and accuracy.

Art school laid a strong foundation, but it wasn't the end destination for me. After my 2 years at The Academy, I decided to finish off a BSc in geology at university, then went to grad school. Even then I was interested in both art and science and didn't want to be forced to make a choice. 

I continued to paint through my 20s, 30s, and early 40s, but I didn't take it seriously and wasn't terribly "creative" with it. What I mean is that I was often more adept at scientific illustration and copying what I saw or photographed, rather than inventing a completely new concept. But that is how we're taught if we go through a traditional art school as I had, or work as an archaeological artist, as I had also done for a time. 

In the traditional art school that I attended, we learned to paint what we saw, a good practice when someone is just beginning to learn an art form. But we never learned to invent or be strongly creative. Individual expression or style were not encouraged that early in a student's career. They told us it would evolve on its own, in time. But for a lot of artists it never does because the foundation for that level of creativity is never put in place.

Traditional art schools are often very good at teaching the craft or techniques of art, as they should be, but they often fail the students by refusing to showing them how to give voice to their own unique, creative spirit. Or perhaps they simply don't know how to teach it.

I had my moments of unbridled creativity where I let my spirit soar, but they didn't last very long. Tapping into that higher form of creativity is something that has only come to me recently.

I simply didn't know what to do with it, what the purpose was of my art at that time, so I'd go back to doing mostly copy work.

Since my accident and NDE, things have changed considerably for me in the creativity department. My skills at the craft of painting have improved immensely, and I think my style has evolved a bit too. But both my unique creativity and desire to paint have skyrocketed. I actually *need* to paint, and in new, different ways. I am no longer content with just being a copyist...fresh, new concepts are coming to me pretty much continuously. It's as if the creative floodgates opened up! 

 

What happened? What changed?

I'm not exactly sure. On a purely physical level, I know my traumatic brain injury (TBI) strongly affected my left frontal and temporal lobes, thought to be the center of language and analytical thinking. And sure enough, after my accident I had a lot of trouble with reading, math, remembering names, spoken language, words in general, and computer programming. I was also a strongly verbal thinker prior to my accident. Today, I think mostly in pictures and concepts and have to translate those into words so that I can communicate with other people. Perhaps the brain injury itself had something to do with change in the way I created art.

On a more spiritual level, though, I think that being put directly in touch with my creative Source/God/Spirit during my death on the operating table deeply changed me, too. How could it not? Beauty and love beyond measure, communication so deep and meaningful that it couldn't be translated into words, and being accepted and celebrated without question for simply who and what I was both as a human and a soul. It changed me, and for that I am grateful. It also forged a stronger connection to my Creative, Higher Power (Source) that hasn't gone away. I know that every time I step up to the easel, I am allowing that higher creativity to flow through me and on to canvas.

And perhaps death allowed me to be fearless, too, to no longer worry about what others might think. I suspect this is where recent pieces like "Inyan" came from: becoming a more fearlessly creative, conceptual, spiritual person, seeing connections rather than separation. Feeling free to creatively channel whatever came to me.

"Inyan" (available as a print, here)

My style is evolving into something more contemporary, more imaginative, and incorporating more of the concepts I learned during my NDE. I have a purpose now, too: to celebrate connections, love, and spiritual truth. Oh yeah, and to have fun!

"Song of the East"

"No More War" 

"Horse Play"

Relaying spiritual messages through my art has become second nature now, so you will continue to see more works that show the unity and connectedness of all people and all things. 

"I Remember"

For more on my book, Awakenings from the Light (available on Amazon.com and at Barnes and Noble), that details my accident, NDE, and recovery, visit http://NancyRynes.com

Posted by Nancy Rynes (http://NancyRynesStudio.com and http://NancyRynes.com)

All text and images are copyrighted by Nancy Rynes, 2015-2019.

       

Creativity and Brain Trauma - My Experience So Far

Some of you may know that in January of 2014, I was involved in a serious accident that resulted in a long stay in the hospital, many broken bones in my spine, and a moderately serious head trauma (TBI - traumatic brain injury). While the broken bones are taking their time to heal, tt's the head trauma that has impacted my creativity and work life more than anything else...and in ways I hadn't expected.

My TBI affected my left frontal and temporal lobes. These are areas of the brain traditionally thought to be responsible for most of our analytical abilities, language/communication, mood, decision-making, memory, and motor function. It's a complex and inexact science and no one can really predict how someone will be affected by a particular blow to the brain. Also, over time the brain will at least partially heal and some functions may return to the once-damaged area, or may be handled by a different part of the brain.

Initially, my memory for recent events and matching names with faces was seriously impaired. On the day I returned to the office, six weeks after the crash, I went all day without being able to remember the names of most of my coworkers - these were folks I'd worked with for 18 months and had great working relationships with. It was unbelievably frustrating to stare at the face of a friend and not be able to access his or her name. Yep, I shed more than a few tears of frustration over this!

I also had difficulties with word-finding, particularly when speaking. My brain would often just go on hold and I couldn't come up with the words that I wanted to speak or write. I could "see" the concept that I was trying to communicate in my head, but I couldn't verbalize it.

But the biggest negative impact has been on my analytical, technical, and programming abilities. This type of work was my "day job" for the last 20 years, and now I'd sit in front of my computer screen, not able to remember even the basics of programming or how to write technical documentation. I felt even more frustration, sadness, and fear when I realized this ability was now gone.

Most of these effects continue to get better - my abilities to associate names with faces seems to be back to normal. My short-term memory has improved drastically, although my analytical and technical abilities have as yet to return.

But on a very positive note, I didn't expect that my creativity would soar during this time!

Maybe it's the fact that my inner critic is now silent that has allowed my creativity to grow. If that's the case, I hope it's mute forever! Or perhaps with the loss of my analytical and technical abilities, my creative side has figuratively been given room to soar.

I'm not sure the cause, but I do see the outcome. And I LOVE it!

I'm more efficient and focused at the easel than I have ever been before. My ability to come up with an original idea for a painting, and then execute it, has never been this good. My color mixing abilities have never been better, and new ideas for paintings flow to me constantly.

I feel as though I am totally in the groove of painting, and it's absolutely wonderful!

I'm sure that everyone who has a TBI comes away with different experiences and outcomes - some good, some not-so-good. I'm grateful that something as traumatic as a brain injury can have a welcome, positive outcome.

Will I ever get back my technical abilities? At this point, my doctor isn't sure. It will likely be another 12 months before we know that - that will be the summer of 2015. But in the meantime, I'm going to exercise my more creative brain to its utmost and see where it takes me!