Sometimes someone comes into your life and completely changes the course that seemed to be laid out for you. Life can never be the same. Dixie* did this for me many years ago and laid out the foundation that would become my creative and artistic life.
Dixie and her husband Gregory* were old friends of my parents - my family and I saw them quite often and for me, it was an incredible treat. Gregory was kind, one of the kindest men I knew. And Dixie...well, she was an artist through and through. She had been born into Southern gentry to a family that still had a plantation. The best part of southern grace and manners survived in her - her charm and wit and positive, bubbly outlook on life buoyed me up many times. No one could be sad or down in her presence - she was even laughing the day after her second cancer surgery 20 years ago when she was approaching 70 years young. Life was just too good to be blue.
Yes, Dixie was an artist - after high school she went through intensive studies in life drawing and painting at the American Academy of Art in Chicago IL. She was a student in the place that produced artists such as Howard Terpning and Richard Schmid. Dixie's talent was great and her love of art even greater. But something finally came along which eclipsed even art in her life - the man who would later become her husband, Gregory.
Dixie painted for a while after meeting Gregory, but sadly she put her brushes aside when she became his wife. She wanted to spend her time raising children and supporting him in his very successful career. Unfortunately for her, the children never came as she suffered four miscarriages before giving up her dream of a family. Yes, she did experience tragedy and grieved, but she always came out of it vibrant and alive.
Dixie and Gregory met my parents in the mid 1950s and stayed friends for decades. My parents were from blue collar and farm stock - they led fairly simple lives and didn't go in for much culture or learning. How the two couples managed to stay friends is anyone's guess. No one from either of my parents' families had gone to college. Art and culture were only something for rich folk, not us. My parents tried to raise me in the only mold they knew - that of a young Catholic girl whose lot in life was to marry and have babies. I knew from a young age that wasn't for me. So did Dixie! I think she and Gregory got it into their brains that in some way, my siblings and I were her surrogate kids and took us under their wings. How lucky were we to have a second set of "parents" as amazing as them.
From the time I was very young, Dixie encouraged me to follow both my artistic and intellectual passions. She showed me the paintings she had produced before setting aside her brushes - they were the first real oil paintings I'd ever seen, and they utterly fascinated me! I couldn't believe that someone could paint a beautiful landscape like hers with just a few colors and a couple of brushes. In my mind I can still see myself at age 5, standing in front of her painting of Moraine Lake and the snowy peaks of the Canadian Rockies, eyes trying to understand each color change and brushstroke. How did she paint SNOW? What color is that cliff face? How did she make water look like water?
My life had just shifted.
As I grew, Dixie and Gregory both encouraged me to do what I loved - paint. They recognized not only a talent, but a desire to do and be more than my parents could envision. It was Dixie's encouragement that prompted me to study at the American Academy of Art, following in her footsteps some 40 years after she paved the way. And after the Academy, she encouraged me to get a college degree, following in the footsteps of her husband. In some ways, I am more their daughter than my parents' child. I share Dixie's and Gregory's love of art and culture and learning and travel. I can only hope I have soaked up some of her genuine charm and grace. And I certainly share her positive outlook on life.
My life would not be even a shadow of what it is now without Dixie's presence. She taught me to be a strong, confident woman AND lady at the same time - the two are not mutually exclusive. She taught me that grace and manners and beauty should always be cultivated in my life. She taught me that culture, art, and creativity truly were important in the grand scheme of things. And she also taught me to never give up my art, the essence of who I am, for a man - it was a decision I think she partially regretted in her own life. The right man would not demand that from me...and I should not offer it for it would deny a large part of my Self.
I recently learned that Dixie, now approaching 90 years of age, is having a battle retrieving her memories. Alzheimer's is now taking its toll. Her personality is slowly being stolen by a disease we still don't really understand. But while this is very sad news for Dixie, Gregory, and all of us who have had this woman grace our lives, it's also been a strangely positive time for me. For the first time ever, I have taken large blocks of time to just reflect on how she has helped shape me into the person I am. I have been both astounded and very, very grateful. And I realized just how much she loved me, unconditionally.
This holiday season I am dedicated to celebrating and remembering Dixie and the profound influence she has had on my life. As homage to her, I am pledging myself to completing the creativity course and book that I have worked on now for the better part of a year. If I can positively influence even a few people, even a fraction of the amount she influenced me, I will feel as if my life were truly successful.
Dixie and Gregory, thank you for helping me become the person I am.
*Names changed to protect privacy
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